Without Love

The next time you are sitting out on your porch in the beautiful spring evening or wake up to the welcoming sunrise and smell the crisp morning air on your way out to work, consider the seemingly endless hatred that occurs in other parts of the world. I was struck with the contrasts between that and what I experience in my surroundings.

The violence on the South Korean border; the continued atrocity in Darfur; the Taliban spewing hatred in the court room; the tendency to bash our country’s leaders instead of praying for God to give them wisdom; and the list goes on. Here I am in my peaceful surroundings while being bombarded with stories of violence, rage, and hate. I was thinking to myself how sad it is that humans continue to devastate one another. Where does this dark, evil hatred and violence from?

The God who created the birds that fill the morning air with voices of tranquility and peace created people who fill the world with destruction and chaos. How can this be?

In my morning devotion I focused on the Corinthians 13 and it became clear that I often feel the same rage and anger toward those folks who I view as a threat to my sense of security and well-being.

Like the guy in the SUV, who while talking on his cell phone and exceeding the speed limit by 20 MPH nearly hit me as I started to pull out in front of him. He laid on his horn for several seconds, looked at me with disgust and shook his head. I really wanted to mouth two words to him so that he would know exactly what I thought of him. I could have also included some sign language just to be certain he understood how I felt.

To be embarrassing and shamefully honest there was a split second that I thought to myself, “I dare you to get out of your car. I will make you eat that cell phone.”

Out of the same heart that tells my wife she is beautiful; out of the same heart that says, “I love you Jesus”, out of the same heart--
speaks wicked rage. This should not be.

This morning it hit me, in many ways my heart is no different at times than those barbarians I read about in the newspaper. I am capable of some extreme feelings and potential acts of hostility despite my claims of spirituality and being a follower of Jesus.

I may not act on my impulses but it seems to be only by the grace of God that I don’t.

My heart needs help.

When I respond to another’s actions that threaten my sense of well-being and security with hatred or rage I am no different than those I accuse. Jesus said that it’s what comes out of a person that corrupts the person. What comes out of me is apparently what was in my heart—evil. I could have rationalized and justified a stupid, ego-driven, fear-based sense of rage. In the dark corners of my closet I am no different than many of those thugs I hear about on the news. I found this to be shocking—and very humbling.

At times I am nothing more than a loud gong and a clanging cymbal; the noises that drown out the beauty of the birds who fill the earth with God’s beauty and serenity.

I may have the faith to move mountains but not the faith to allow God to remove the mountain of self-righteousness inside of me that prevents me from being love.

I may cherish the hope for more peace in the boundaries of humanity but I don’t possess the love within the boundaries of my own heart to help create the peace that I hope for the world.
I can possess much hope and faith to see change in the world but without love on my part, its all for nothing.